


Unsolved lube

by Xiuminbae



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Adorable Kim Namjoon | RM, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Crack, Curses, Cute Min Yoongi | Suga, Domestic Fluff, Dont eat my ass spirits, Flirty Kim Taehyung | V, Ghosts, Jeon Jungkook is a Little Shit, Jihope in love, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope Screaming, Kim Seokjin | Jin is So Done, Lingerie, Lube, M/M, Omff, Protective Park Jimin, Vmonkook needs more appreciation, Yoonjin in denial, literally a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-23 19:48:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17086598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xiuminbae/pseuds/Xiuminbae
Summary: inspired by an au on twt: "au where 2seok are the buzzfeed unsolved dudes with jungoo as their cameraman and the rest of the boys are the try guys. jimin talks about his husband hoseok in every video"





	Unsolved lube

**Author's Note:**

> Welp ive spent 3 hours on this mess so i hope yall enjoy, im just here to fuel my jihope agenda

In an abandon haunted house one scared voice can be heared miles away. A pained scream filled with agony, ringing in the ears of the poor souls who are unfortunate enough to witness this horrible sound.

 

"Please don't eat my ass spirits" Hoseok sobbed, eyes watering up, having only spent 5 minutes in the haunted location, he has had enough. He could feel the spirits look at him through the walls, he felt paranoid. He sweared he could hear the sound of someone whispering get out. And his weak ass was 3 seconds away from about to get the fuck out.

 

"Hoseok wtf don't ask that the spirits to not do something, thats disrespectful" Seokjin said, he didnt dare order the unknown spirits wandering or haunting this place to do something. He was smarter than that, even thought he secretly prayed that the spirits to leave his beautiful behind in peace. "Yeah hyung now the demons are gonna come for you and your ass" jungkook laughed, he wasnt scared at all.

 

This was nothing if you speed played throught Outcast at 3 am. Jungkook was almost inhumane in the aspect that he didnt feel fear. Well that would be a lie, he never felt fear like the one time he accidentally tipped over a vase at Jimin and Hoseok's, and to his demise it was Hobi-hyungs favorite vase that jimin gave him on their 5th anniversary. He made hoseok tear up and Jungkook has never felt more powerless than that time, he swears the look jimin gave him almost made him piss his pants. No he's pretty sure he pissed his pants, because he had to borrow a pair from Hoseok. No matter how much he apologized, and hoseok reassured him that it was fine because it was the thought that counted, Jimins face still haunts him till this day. Bless his hyungs heart of gold. But other than his scary pocket sized hyung, things like demons and spirits are baby food.

 

"Yah jungkook! Don't scare him." Seokjin whisper yelled, this brat and his big mouth lowkey scared him too. He didnt understand how the boy could just talk about ghosts in vain like that, if he ended up haunted Seokjin wouldn't even blink an eye."Sorry jin-hyung but Hobi-hyungs ass is going to be obliterated by the end of the night" Jungkook pride himself as a man who only stated facts, no print.  
"Bet" Seokjin couldn't really argue.

"NO! THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN TOUCH ME IS JESUS AND JIMIN" hoseok sobbed even louder if humanly possible, tears streaming down his cheeks. What did he dp to deserve this torture? He sweared he would never leave dirty dishes in the sink or drown his plants ever again."Yeah wow, Jimin-shi is going to have fight Jesus now too" the youngest gasped, the little husband was too protective for his own good. Jungkook would never forget how he squared up with a lamp that one time he was drunk because he sweared "it was looking at hoseokkie funny".  
"Shhhhhh shut it I'm trynna hear for ghosts over here" this was why seokjin hatet working with children. They were either screaming his ear off or pissing him off. As much as he adored hoseok and jungkook they could be a real pain in his ass."Seokjin-hyung I'm scared" hoseok whined, all the crying made him tired. His head felt dizzy and his heart felt heavy.  
"Bu-hu I am too but begin scared ain't gonna stop me from catching these ghosts on film, earning millions and then selling out" sometimes he just had to remind himself of his life goals of own an alpaca farm in the mountains tops of the himalayas.

 

He couldn't do shit if he wasnt rich or beautiful. Unfortunate for him the latter was easier to obtain than he former.  
"Can you buy me a freaking quality camera instead of this shitty old ass one then?" Jungkook looked the heavy brick in his hands with minus 450 quality excuse for an camera he was currently filming with.  
"Yah you ungrateful bastard, that's my grandmother's camera."  
"Exactly my point" he sighed. Why couldn't they afford a descent camera or at least one what wasnt built when the dinosaurs where roaming the streets or when T-rex'es was doing gang signs.  
"Wait guys what's that on the wall?" Hoseok interrupted the petty bickering, he pointed to the wall. 

 

It was covered in an unknown substance. Something or someone has covered it was slime that was dripping everywhere. The color was a mixed between drak green and some parts where lighter, it also had a peculiar smell to it as well. The boys inspected it further hoping it to be some sort of evidence.  
"Ectoplasm?" Jungkook tried he read up about ghosts leaving substances behind to indicate their territory or to leave he massage for other ghost to back off. Dont qoute him on that though; he read it on ghosthuntingboyz.wecool.com.  
"You mean ghost-sperm?" Seokjin corrected him.  
"Excuse me?" The youngest didnt know what the heck his hyung was getting at.  
"No it definitely looks like lube" Seokjin said as he closed in on the substance, the swiped some on his fingers and the stickiness of the consistency and he brought it close to his mouth and licked it. 

 

This earing a grown from jungkook and a ew wtf disgusting from hoseok. He simply payed them no mind as he let the substance melt on his taste buds. He smack his full plush lips and he knew.  
"What the fuck kind of lube is green seokjin-hyung?" Jungkook tried.  
"Excuse me but uh ever heard of apple flavored lube before you uneducated youth" the oldest felt sorry for the coming generations.  
"Why would someone spray apple lube on the walls?" Jungkook surely didn't want to know how his hyung knew this and he had no intentions of finding out either.  
"I dont know but that seems like such a waste though" Seokjin pouted and crossed his arms, the endless possibilities and stretches he could achieve with his amount of lube looked promising if some idiot hadn't sprayed it all over the walls.  
A scream interrupted their conversation once again.  
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Hoseok cried out for the 8th time the last hour. They both rushed to where the sound came from and discovered their friend on the floor.

 

"What?!" Jungkook looked at his hyung whos ass was planted on the big pile of lube.  
"Are you okay hobi?" Seokjin reached out for Hoseok.  
"No, I slipped and fell on ghost lube" he pouted full on triangle pout soaked in green lube. Great how could this night get any worse?

...

Meanwhile at the try guys:  
The four try guys were all gathered in the studio ready to shoot the video for today. They all did some questionable activities but this one took the cake.  
Taehyung beamed exictely and looked at the camera with unmatched entusiasme clappimg his hands. " So, today the try guys are trying lingerie!" Taehyung pointed to the variety of suggestive underwear on the table. Some of them wouldnt even be considered clothes because they literally consisted of two strings but didn't stop Taehyung.  
Namjoon groaned. "Taehyung can you sound a little less excited it going up on the Internet for the whole wide damn world to see, who am I going to face my parents now" Namjoon was contemplating just how he'll explain this to his family. Would they even look at him the same again? He didnt know for sure and something told him that he didnt want to know how his very much conservative family would react to their son's naked behind displayed for all to see.  
"Joon, stop freaking out" yoongi of all people sighed. He didnt understand what the big fuss was. Sure it would be considered embarrassing to a certain degree howver he had confident that his perky booty was a blessing to the world.  
"Yoongi-hyung how are you of all people even okay with this?" Namjoon was dumbfounded, his aggressive hyung who snapped at the delivery man for forgetting to put in topping sauce was willing to strip down for the camera. To say he was surprised would be the understatement of the year.  
"Well they gave me the option of going ghost hunting with dumb seoks and a dumber camera man or trying shit on camera so I figured the latter option wouldn't case any hearing loss" he casually explained. It was a logical decision to make.  
"Hyung that's so unfair! You had a choice but they wouldn't let me be with my husband! My poor sunshine probably all scared right now." Jimin whined, his plumb lips pouting, bottom lips shaking. He puffes out his squeezable cheekd and his big puppy like eyes looked so sad, this hurt all the hyungs in the room. They never wanted to see the other male sad like that, feeling the urge to make it up to him or give him anything he wanted rushing through them. All the cameramen cooed at his unbelievable cuteness. "That's unfortunate jiminnie, why wouldn't they let you and hoseokkie shoot together?" Namjoon didnt understand why the pd-nims would split up the lovely pair. Their dynamic could be to much sometimes and their PDA would sometime make him projectile vomit but in all they were a cute couple.  
"I cant remeber but they said something along the lines about public indecency, bogus bull" he cursed; eyes darkening at the thought of the meeting where they psychically had to stop him from throwing hands at their director. Hoseok had promised him cuddles all night long if he let the man go however much he wanted to prove him wrong that they knew how to act properly in an appropriate space he knew he wouldn't resist his husbands cuteness for more than 5 minutes and settled foe cuddles.  
"Hyung! That's inaccurate, it's actually my husband who can't stop seducing me! I'm just an innocent soft hung man in love uwu" Jimin sung in his squeaking voice, sounding like an stuffed toy.  
"How did he even pronounce that out loud?" Namjoon questioned muttering to himself.  
"Now that's the fattest lie if I've ever heard one" Yoongi was full out rolling on the floor by now clutching his stomach. He couldn't believe hid ears.  
"Yoonie-hyung, stfu before I strangle you with this flimsy piece of underwear" the shorter boy threatened, his small fits clenching.  
"Hey maybe that'll be the next video, the try guys try kinks" namjoon suggested. Something more degrading than this would probably throw people off and perhaps make them forget their asses.  
"I like your attitute joon-hyung! now put on this see-through bra on your flat chest, namjoon stop worring and put this lace pantines on, they definitely flatter your eyes and Jimin stop crying and get this thong on, I'm sick of feeling like I'm the only one who puts effort in this" taehyung blurred out frustrated. They really didn't pay him enough to deal with this level of unprofessionalism.  
"That's probably cuz you are tae" namjoon sighed as he took the flimsy piece of underwear he was handed.  
"Yeah" Yoongi agreed.  
"Well my cute husband would look so good in all of these though, I might snatch some of these later TaeTae" jimin inspected the different types of lingerie on the table calculating which one would flatter his husband the best.  
"You really think hoseok gonna be able to walk after that haunted house tour ChimChim?" Taehyung was sure from what his boyfriend, Jungkook had sendt him that Hoseok had burst into a crying mess within the first 5 minutes which lead him to lose their bet. He had bet on that hoseok would at least hold out for 10 minutes but now he was 50 dollars poorer and need cash to pay for his electric bills.  
"You're totally right tae, he'd be soo out of his precious mind, weak and vonuarble. Even more perfect!" This gave jimin an ehpfifany. His sweet weak and defenseless husband tied up? Sign him up.  
"Uhm..." namjoon wasnt sure of what he'd just heard, he knew jimin usually didnt act they way most people would think, and for an 5'10 tiny male he had more sinister energy than anyone namjoon had ever met and thats saying alot since namjoon used to do tattoo for former inmates.  
"He won't have the strength to resist!" The smile on the shorter males face was probably what scared the other guys the most. How could he smile so bright when talking about making advantage of their husband... what even goes on in the Park household the others wouldn't want to begin to imagine.  
"Jimin-ah..." yoongi tried.  
"He'd be such an obedient pliant baby!" Jimin drooled, eyes shifting to something unrecognizable and sinister.  
"Okay, what the fu-"

...  
Back to the ghoul boys ft JK: After the boys had tried to dry of hoseok he still felt disgusting."Ew hyung I'm all sticky now." He whined, they had a change of clothes but all he wanted to do was go homeand take a long shower.  
"That's not my fault, hope-ah" Seokjin felt remorse for the poor boy but then again it was his ass who slipped and fell.  
"Yeah if anything hyung blame the ghosts " jungkook said, in such an unsporting manner hoseok wanted to slap him sideways but he couldn't because of the cameras. He just bit his perfect teeth together. "I wanna go home and cuddle with my jiminnie".  
"We all want to go home but we can't until we get that good footage" Seokjin stated; his plan to become rich involved hustle.  
"Fuck I hate this" he moaned bitterly.  
"Tell me about it" Seokjin sighed.

"So hyungs, here go down into the basement one at the time, look around for ghosts. Hobi-hyung do you have the cheap knock of spirit box from ebay with you?" Jungkook started to rig up the broken equipment. He had to use what he had.  
"You must be fucked out of your mind if you think I'd ever step foot down into that hell hole without any of yall" he need emotional support and the basement was considered the most active place in the whole house. 

 

He knew that if you go alone the ghost will easily target you. And from all the spooky movies he'd seen or at least seen through his finger gaps he knew the ghosts were spiteful of beautiful specimens like himself.  
"Hyung! You don't understand, its good content!" Jungkook argued.  
"No way in sweet baby Jesus" Seokjin swore on his life and he wasn't just about to give up on it for Youtube content that probably would be demonetized from all the swearing.  
Jungkook didnt look convinced and smirked at his hyung. The little brat was cooking up something.  
"What you little brat," Seokjin was terrified.<"Hmm, I'll give you the nudes yoongi-hyung accidentally sent me if you go down alone and stay there for 10 whole minutes " the evil youngster grinned, bunny teeth on full display. His eyes glimmering with pride that he stunned his hyung.  
"WHAT?" Seokjin felt his face heat up. Yoongis nude? He had bo other choice, his dick was making the calls now taking over the control away from his seven braincelles. He wanted, no he needed those nudes for science of course.  
"Yeah, hyungs a freak" jungkook wolf whistled, empathising the whole concept of the nudes. "Me and tae even talked bout a threesome since yaknow we're in an open relationship and all that" Jungkook sighed dreamily, blackmailing aside yoongi was one of his hyungs he'd love to tap after hoseok and jimin. 

 

But the thought of even suggesting a foursome to Jimin would probably result in him toothless and a few broken ribs if he's lucky.  
It didnt take Seokjin long to reconsider. "Okay I'm going" he took the flashlight and flipped jungkook off for good measure.  
"Be careful and watch out for ghosts Seokjin-hyung" Hoseok called after him waving slightly, the thought of going down alone making his knees weak.  
"Geez thanks hobi" Seokjin muttered.

Some time pass

"He's awfully quiet" hoseok comments, it been a whole fifteen minutes and they are already starting to suspect that something terribly wrong.  
"Is he dead?" The married male gasps slapping the younger on the forearm.  
"No, he's meditating" the younger spits out.  
"Stop joking around kookie" Hoseok says worried, he didn't think Seokjin was in trouble because the older could handle himself pretty well. He knew how to fight but he knew that fighting ghosts probably wasnt the same as fighting of drunk men."You should go down to him hyung" jungkook suggest smiling sweetly at his hyung. He clapped him on the shoulder ready to push him down the flight of stairs.  
"WHAT heck no" Hoseok grabbed the other by his hoodie and flung himself up. He siltenly prayed that Seokjin would be okay instead.  
"But it'll be g-"  
"Good content, I get it but no way in heck" Hoseok said sternly, he wasnt stupid; uhm stupid enough to walk down to his death. He always thought that he'd die from suffocating with Jimins thighs around his neck or getting his by a truck. Never by getting scared half to death.  
"Okey but-" Jungkook tried.  
"And trying to bribe me with nudes ain't gonna work, I'm happily married for five years and it's literally no part of jimin that I haven't seen before" hoseok exclaimed proudly smiling like he had won over the younger. But he knew better and from the looks of it, the younger was stirring up some evil plan in his mind. He did not like that look on the youngest.  
"Well you got me there hyung..." jungkook began looking like his hyung had the upper hand.< "Yeah I did"  
"However..." Jungkook smirked again.  
"What do you mean however?" Hoseok was dumbfounded he couldnt think of a possible piece of blackmail material jungkook couldve taken off jimin that jimin hadn't personally shown him himself."I might not have nudes to tempt you but I have nudes OF you to tempt your little horny hubby" and so jungkook had once again won, showcasing his superior intellect.  
"Wait whats thats supposed to mean" hoseok tried; what?  
"I mean, remember when I asked you to try on those questionable costumes and pose for my " film project"?" Jungkook did air qoutes, he laughed soflty at the confused look on his hyung. He looked so lost almost like a deer caught in headlights and he definitely understood why Jimin didn't waste much tine to ravish him when he had the opportunity. 

"You-you monster, I thought I was helping you with your assignment!" Hoseok squealed, he felt so embarrassed that he'd been fooled by his dongseang. He hated when the younger would use his goodness and naive nature against him. He was too innocent for his crule world.  
"Sorry to burtst your bubble hyung but you standing in nothing but an apron wasn't going to help much with my grade" it really wasnt Jungkooks fault he had such an impressionable hyung. He could see why Jimin wanted to keep him innocent and locked up.  
"What?! I gave leaned you my biggest asset!" Hoseok was pouting now, it was unfair how jungkook took advantage of his sweetness. He would surely remember how the younger had wronged him this time, no more ice cream to him for at least a week or two once he stopped by their apartment.  
"But hyung your ass ain't that big tho" jungkook looked confused, again he was a man of facts.  
"Fuck you" hoseok spat the youngest before grabbing his head in a headlock.  
"Ouch, oh here I thought you was in a happily committed married relationship? So i take it the rumors are true, you are seeking a mistress?" He felt hoseok squeeze tighter. " I see you hyung" he chocked out.

Hoseok released him after he furiously tapped out, he guess he couldn't breathe.  
"Literally fling yourself of the nearest cliff please" 

 

"Well hyung look at this, I've sent it to jimin" jungkook coughed out. "and look he opened it up in under 3 seconds that's a new record!"  
Hoseok groaned and sunk on his feet "Im embarrassed" he hid his flushing face in his arms.  
"Don't be, jimin-shi is currently blowing up my phone asking for more and mostly why I got sexy pics of you-" jungkook was interrupted by the theme song of Kim Possible.  
"Oh someone's calling me-" he answered. 

 

"H-"  
"JUNGKOOK YOU LITTLE SHIT! WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT KIND OF SUGGESTIVE PICTURES OF MY LOVELY HUSBAND ON YOUR PHONE? WHEN WAS THIS TAKEN AND WHY WASN'T I INFORMED?" Hoseok could felt jungkooks fear, Jimins tone was not playing around.  
The two boys could hear a faint scream sounding an awful alot like yoongi yelling in the background. "Yah Park Jimin get off the phone we're in the middle of a shoot!" However it didn't stop jimins rage. "I KNOW HOSEOKKIE IS NEXT TOO YOU SO YOU BETTER TELL HIM THAT ASS IS GOING TO BE SHREDDED THE SECOND HE COMES HOME!" Then he hung up.  
Silence filled the dark and badliy lit room.  
"F-fuck" hoseok stammered out.  
"SO hyung, why don't you grab on to that camera and head down the basement to join Seokjin-hyung?" Jungkook smiled in victory. Being a little shit had its perks.  
"Yeet" Jungkook dabbed.

...

Currently in the basement Seokjin felt as if he forgot the concept of time itself because fear had taken over every single nerve in his fragile but muscular body.  
"Okay calm down Seokjinnie, you got this" he whispered to himself reassuringly.  
"WHAT WAS THAT" he screamed a second later, a mouse crawled on the floor. He flashed his light and it crawled away.  
"Okay calm down Seokjinnie that was just a mouse" he laughed nervously.  
A loud drop of water hit his nose and literally made him jump out of his skin. "NO FUCK THIS" he turned and began to walk briskly and walked around a corner only to be meet with an dead end.  
"Okay Jinnichi, think about Yoongichi naked in your bed"  
This seemed to work for him as Seokjin could feel himself getting eased down thinking about the other male naked in his bed. But his peace was disrupted by a arm that grabbed his shoulder. This tipped him fully over the edge and Seokjin officially lost whatever little shit he had together.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH" he yelled on the top of his lungs and smacked the shadow figure with this flashlight.  
Bur he noticed that it wasn't a ghost but rather a scared looking hoseok.  
"SHIT I'm so sorry hobi!" Seokjin collected himself.  
"No don't be hyung I sneaked up on you, thank God my reflexes are over 9000 or else I'm pretty sure Jimin would've ended you" hoseok breathed out.  
"I can finally breath now, hold my hand." seokjin smiled at his dongseang reassuringly.  
"Sure thing hyung " hoseok smiled back.  
They walked down the dark hall hand in hand.  
"So..." began Seokjin weakly.  
"So..." hoseok continued meekly.  
"Just, gow much of that did you hear?"  
"All from seokjinnie jinnichi to thinking about yoongi-hyung nude" snickered hoseok.  
"Fuck"

...

Back to the try guys, after Jimins rude abrupt phone call and trying hard to calm him down. Saying that he'd get a chance to strangle the younger only once they were done with the filming and how hoseok would be dissapointed if he were to just leave mid shoot. They were right, his husband didnt marry a quitter. This somehow worked as they finally started filming again.  
"Sooo, how do I look? Pretty temping right?" Taehyung danced around shaking his money maker for the camera, he smirked devilish when he dropped low to pick up something he accidentally pushed down the floor. This was an obvious attempt to bend over.  
"Tae could you stop wiggling your ass like that" namjoon commented, he didnt know if he wanted the younger to stop because of arousal or annoyance. He had to admit it was a thick butt.  
"Yeah we aren't shooting a porno" Yoongi added, wanting the younger to stop putting on a show.  
"Yeah cuz the only one I shoot pornos with is my husband" jimin blurred out not paying any mind to what just left his mouth.  
"What you and hoseokkie-hyung have a porno?" Taehyung commented exictely, this was new. He knew his best friend was a freak in the sheets bur filming themselves was something he hadnt expected.  
"N-no of course not" jimin blushed shyly pulling at the strings of his bra.  
"Oh really?" Yoongi irked his eyebrow at the younger.  
"Yeah we only store them on the computer cuz I'd rather die that letting anyone else but me see my husband naked" Jimin smiled satisfied. He did not have an obsession problem no matter how hard they tried to tell him. Or at least it didnt seem like his husband minded after all and thats all that mattered. He'd stop in a heartbeat if his husband felt uncomfortable because he loves him to the moon and back.  
"You know that you're practically standing in a thong on a video that's going up on the Internet for millions eyes to see?" Namjoon commented not grasping the shorters logic.  
"Yeah so?"  
"Im-" namjoon tried.  
"You're okay with that?" Yoongi explain for Namjoon who was t a loss of words.  
"Yeah I'm just showing of what belongs to my husband and what no one else can have" jimin winked and did a little spinn before landing in a split earing an applause from the camera crew.  
"Impressive but moving on..." namjoon changed the topic. "How do you fit your balls into this?" he questioned.  
"Namjoon-hyung let me help you there's a special technique I learned" Taehyung generosity was on another level even offering to help tuck his hyungs balls, he was an angel.  
"What? Wait tae get your hands of my dick " Namjoon stammered in vain trying to get the youngers grabby hands of his jewels.  
"Don't be shy hyung" Taehyung insisted as he forcefully grabbed a strong hold around his hyung and dragged him behind off screen.  
They could hear a "NO don't!" Followed by "just stop moving and let me help you". Lastly from Namjoon a scream could be heard "AHHH".  
Taehyung proudly smiled "See now you're tucked and ready to go" when they came back shortly after. A smirking Taehyung lead the way followed by a blushing Namjoon. 

"Do I even want to know?" Yoongi tried.  
"I'm scarred for life" namjoon look was enough confirmation yoongi needed to know that he didnt want Taehyung anywhere near his dick.  
"Yeah keep acting like my hands on your dick didn't feel good hyung" Taehyung winked.  
"TAE!" Namjoon gasped loudly. He felt his face become even redder, he was dripping sweat.  
"Yoongi-hyung those look great on you" taehyung commented, his pretty hyung looked even prettier in lingerie to no ones surprise.  
"You think? I'm not sure why but I could definitely get off in this" yoongi blushed a little. He felt oddly comfortable in lingerie, the peach pink color complimented his body and he knew from the others reaction that he was indeed every mans wet dream or at least a gay awakening.

"Want me to take a pic?" Taehyung suggest bringing out his phone.  
"Sure" Yoongi posed seductively, tounge and ass out. Taehyung gulped. 

....

In the basement the two most cowardly men on the planet held each other in an tight embrace.  
"Hyung" hoseok started.  
"Yeah hobi" Seokjin felt his nerves creep up on him again, it didn't help much finding reassurance in hoseok constant looking around and scared eyes.  
"I'm scared" he whispered.  
"Me too hobi" Seokjin felt that this surely was it. It was were his amazing legacy was going to die.  
"Why do you think kookie didn't want to come down here" Hoseok questioned. He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that the younger bunny looking boy that lived off adrenaline would just so suddenly miss out on an opportunity to investigate an abandon basement of an haunted house.  
"It's definitely sus when you think about it" Seokjin also began and added "He's such a scary places fanatic too".  
"I'm terrified" hoseok grabbed his hyung tighter.  
"I know that man child has something up his sneaky sleeves" Seokjin bit down his growing annoyance a funny thought that the younger had been too quiet for his own good. Something smelled fishy.  
A low growling sound erupted from the hall. It starled hoseok and he snapped his head around.  
"Wait did you hear that?" Hoseok said looking in disbelief at his hyung pulling him to get his attention.  
"Hear what?" Seokjin tried to follow what the younger was hinting at.  
"That low growling sound" hoseok explained furiously pointing at the direction from where the sound came from.  
"Seokjin-hyung stop messing around, please tell me you heard it too!" Hoseok felt tears threatening to spill again.  
"I'm not!" Seokjin yelled. "What are y-" seokjin was interrupted by a loud growling sound that shook the walls and the basement in its whole.  
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH" both males busted both their lungs from fear.  
"DON'T EAT MY ASS SPIRITS" Hoseok cried.  
"I'M TOO HANDSOME TO DIE" Seokjin pleaded.  
"PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE JIMIN AS A WIDOW THIS EARLY" hoseok sobbed.  
"I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD THE CHANCE TO SEE YOONGIS NUDES" now it was Seokjins turn to cry.  
Both terrified males stopped crying and pleading when they heard a familiar sound of laughter.  
"Hahahah this is gold" there was jungkook standing with two speakers in both hands looking pleased with himself. 

''W-what" hoseok blinked a few times  
"K-kookie?".  
"Oh my you guys should've seen your faces it was priceless " jungkook laughed harder.  
"Fuck it. I'm doing to make this house into a real crime scene" seokjin let go of hoseok and ran towards jungkook.  
"You little shit, get back here" jungkook yelped and dodged Seokjin clutches and headed ti hid behind hoseok.  
"I got it all on film, that good content" the youngest tried to excuse himself. "You're not mad are you Hobi-hyung?" Jungkook looked up at his hyung with big pleading eyes.  
"You thinking what in thinking hobi?" Now it was Seokjins turn to smirk.  
"Oh yeah hyung" hoseok grabbed jungkook in a headlock.  
"Wait? Hobi-hyung jin-hyung im sorry!" Jungkook pleaded.  
"Thats too late noe kookie" hoseok growled.  
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

...  
The try guys were finally wrapping up after an successfully shoot. Taehyung clapped his hands together and smiled brightly to the camera. "Today we learned that lingerie looks hella good on anyone" he brefily explained the importance of finding the type and style that match you the best and of course that the color means a lot to flatter your body.  
"Yeah namjoons a clear example of that anyone can pull it off" yoongi snickered.  
"Hey! Rude." He pouted, his ass might feel exposed but he'd be damned if it did not look good as well.  
"And it feels soft, with the right material" Taehyung continued to explain in detail.  
"Yeah but it's itchy af after a while" namjoon starched his itchy ass, he added "how do people even get off with these on?" He asked in pure curiosity.  
"Yeah but hyung you take off the lingerie when you're fucking" taehyung explained laughing at his hyung who looked so lost.  
"You do?"  
"Yeah or else it's really uncomfortable" Taehyung grimaced bad memories flashed through his mind, he shook his head.  
"And you would know how tae?" Yoongi questioned the younger.  
"Duh this ain't my first rodeo."  
"Why am I not surprised" The older sighed, "nasty."  
"So you don't fuck with lingerie? My whole life is a lie" namjoon looked so devastated, he pouted slightly eyebrows frowning.  
"Awww don't be sad hyung I can show you judt how uncomfortable lingerie can be during sex" he cooed at his hyung. He knew how excited jungkook would be if he brought their favorite hyung back to their apartment.  
"Oh thanks tae!" The older beamed, looking forward to a uncomfortable but good time.  
"Wait did yall just agree on hooking up?" Yoongi questioned why he even bother with these people.  
"No hyung it's an experiment" they looked at each other "Yeah yoongi-hyung an experiment".  
"Whatever floats your boats" the oldest shrugged. He did even care to be honest. Thankfully jimin interrupted them.  
"Quick question"  
"What jimin-ah?" Yoongi looked at the younger male, he looked like he was deep in thought this whole time. 

"Do you think my husband would look good in this or this? Red is definitely his color but he also adores green" he questioned he looked so serious yoongi was almost scared.  
"Literally can't care less" he replied.  
"You're totally right hyung! My husband would look ook good in anything, what a silly question " the younger just laughed happily.  
"Yall three need Jesus, how does hobi even put up with you" yoongi said as got up and brushed of some dust from his ass. He probably shouldn't have said that because jimins comment made him regret even opening his mouth in the first place.  
"Yeah right yoongi hyung I've seen the way you lust after Seokjin-hyung and im pretty sure ive heard you say that you wanted to be baptize in his sweat " jimin snapped back. Yoongis face imidietely became red, he wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole.  
"I am disgusted" namjoon gave him a stinky look.  
"SHUT UP! JIMIN YOU LITTLE SHIT I TOLD YOU THAT IN DRUNK CONFIDENCE, ILL KILL YOU!"  
"Enough of this verbal abuse, I miss my husband" jimin said sadly.

...  
"I miss jiminie" hoseok said waiting outside of the haunted house. They wrapped up the filming with beating jungkooks ass on camera, bur the editors would fix that so they didnt sweat it.  
"Do you think jimin-shi would pick us up? We came here by buss." Jungkook asked softly, his head resting on Seokjins wide shoulders, munching on oreos.  
"Why are we so poor" Seokjin asked to no one in particular.  
"Well hyung look at the bright side, after the video goes up we're going to be rolling in cash" jungkook said with a mouth full of oreos. "True that" he nodded.  
Hoseok pulled out his phone and hit speed dial. After a second or two of ringing, the male on the other line picked up.  
"Hey baby-  
N-no no I'm fine  
Well-  
NO he didn't do that much damage!  
Yeah I know baby, kookie can be an ass  
Ill explain the pictures when we get hom-  
Sweet cheeks-  
I- " Hoseok was blushing, jungkook and jin sent him a disgusted look. Hoseok shook his head trying hard to control the blushing.  
"Could you pick us up please?  
I've sent you the address  
Okay-  
Mhm-  
I love you more  
*smootch*" hoseok smiled brightly and hung up. He looked at other two males sitting next to him. "I'm going to be sick" seokjin began. "Absolutely disgusting, I'm bout to throw up my Ramen" jungkook fake gagged. 

"Yeah, yeah yall be jealous and hating on true love, what else is new?" Hoseok didn't even bother.  
"When's he gonna be here?" Seokjin asked. "In fifteen minutes." Jungkiok looked up. "Uhm it's am hour 'n a half drive away from the studio tho?"  
"Oh the guys wrapped up much more earlier than us" he explained.  
"So he's been on the road since then?" Jungkook asked, feeling the urge to cry at his hyungs romantic acts.  
"Yeah" hoseok smiled timidly, he was lucky to be married to the only man ever.  
"Wow im jealous of love" Seokjin laughed. "Speaking of love" he truned around to look at jungkook.  
"Ey jk "  
"What hyung " jungkook replied, busy look at his phone going over his unanswered texts.  
"Send me those nudes" Seokjin said.  
"With out Yoongi-hyung permission and consent? I would never" the youngest gasped. However this was the last drop and seokjin officially lost his shit.  
"I'm going to smash stuff these oreos down your pipes" he warned lowly.  
"Okey Okey calm down hyung" jungkook just laughed before he confessed the truth.  
...  
..  
.  
"YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Seokjin yelled with rage. This was the last time he'd ever believe the youngers stupid lies.  
"stop hyung I didn't think you'd actually fall for it" jungkook explained nervously, he tried to hide behind his Hobi-hyung.  
"You lied!"  
"Ehh, it was an honest mistake"  
"That's it I'm going to end you, Hobi be ready to have a corpse in the trunk" seokjin threw himself on the younger not holding back.  
"We just cleaned the car :(" hoseok sighed, they had to clean their car pretty often with the mess their dogs made and the mess Jimin turned hoseok into they spent a huge lot on removing stains from their car on a regular basis.  
"Wait, wait, wait!" Jungkook tried to save himself and pulled his phone up.  
"Put the oreos down hyung" he tried.  
However seokjin couldn't hear him over the amount of anger that was boiling within him. "Look what Taetae-hyung sent me!"  
Seokjin stopped and fully looked at the screen. He was stunned his mouth fell and mind blanked.  
"Is that yoongi in lingerie?" He asked softly.  
"Oh yeah the try guys was trying on lingerie, jiminie mentioned it on the phone. He even brought some for our playtime later" hoseok giggled at how excited his husband was on the phone."Hopefully he snatched some unused ones".  
"That's hot" was the last thing that left Seokjins mouth before he fainted.  
"Hyung!" They both yelled.

In the distance not long after a car pulled up.  
"That's must be jimin-shi letsgo" jungkook exclaimed.  
"Seokjin-hyung are you okay?" Hoseok looked worried at his hyung that was currently rest in his arms. He was red in the face and he was muttering strange things. He looked so dazed.  
"I'm falling" he said.  
"Well then, get the fuck up and away from my husband " jimin yelled as he approached the two. He looked so happy to finally see his husband after a long and tiring day without him and was not pleased to see his beloved holding another man in his embrace.  
"JIMINNIE" the other male pushed his hyung off him and ran towards his husband and literally flung himself in a warm hug. Jimin was ready with his open arms as he hugged his husband back "HOSEOKKIE." A disgustingly big smootch sound made jungkook flinch.  
"I missed you" hoseok began as he stuffed his head in the crook of jimins neck.  
"I missed you more" the other replied sweetly, he chuckled warmly at his husbands cute antics and let his hand roam and stroke his husbands soft hair. He got a low purring sound in return.  
"How was your day?" hoseok spoke into his neck littering it with small kisses tickling his husband slightly turning him on as well.  
"NO, how was your day?" Jimin giggled as he asked back.  
"I was busy missing you " he pouted.  
"Same" they held each other for a while. They simultaneously ignored Jungkook's futile cry for help as Seokjin had leaned on him for support and was now crushing him.  
"Let's go home baby, don't think I haven't forgotten about what kookie sent me earlier " jimin growled lowly in his husbands ear, nibbling on the other males senestive ear. His arms snaked to his husbands behind and grabbed a handful.  
"Babe stop, not here" hoseok stammered out breathless and very much turned on. Jimins hands roamed his husbands body and he smirked devilish at his husbands reactions. 

He let hoseok go and grabbed his hand and started to pull him to their car.  
"Get your asses in so we can go already" he yelled at Seokjin and jungkook.  
"Hyungs! Help Seokjin-hyung is having a malfunction!" Jungkook tried to push Seokjin of him but to no succsess, just how heavy was this hyung.  
"What why?" Jimin asked concerned. He let go of hoseok and walked towards jungkook and his hyung.  
"He saw yoongi in lingerie" he explained.  
"Oh" jimin understood.  
"Grab him."

...  
On the road, the night sky was beautiful. They drove in silence with jimin and hoseok having silent conversations between themselves. Jungkooks phone had died so he couldnt play any more of pubg or watch tiktoks. It got bored to mess with a fainted Seokjin after 10 minutes of doodling on his face. He was restless.  
"Guy's like I don't want to butt in or like be a nuisance " jungkook started. "Sounds fake but go on" jimin sighed voice laced with annoyance.  
"No I mean is it safe driving with only one hand in the wheel? I mean shouldn't both hands be on the 2 and 10" Jungkook asked because he had been siltenly witnessing the handholding of the two and thought that it might was a tad bit much to hold hand even while driving.  
"Kookie, I'm going to hold my husbands hand while driving and you are going to shut it " Jimin threatened lowly, eyes piercing the younger throught the mirror.

"Jiminie! Don't be mean, he's just concerned about traffic safety " hoseok scolded his husband.  
"Hoseokkie, I'm not mean" jimin whined and pouted which resulted in hoseok heart melting a bit. "Thank you kookie but jiminie here is the best driver in the whole world and an excellent hand holder" Hoseok explained to the younger. He leaned over to kiss his husbands cheek lovingly.  
"Hyung!" Jimin said blushing.  
"What jiminie?" Hoseok replied soflty.  
"Can I get another kiss, but on the lips?" Jimin asked with a grin.  
"Hmm, how about i give you a kiss and so much more once we get home?" Hoseok suggested seductively. "Sounss like deal" jimin replied. 

 

"Ew open up the window I'm going to puke" jungkook banged on the window as he gagged.

 

"We just cleaned the car :(" they both said in unison.

**Author's Note:**

> Omff i hope yall survived this mess, i tried


End file.
